Choosing
the Best of Both WorldsToday someone asked whether to take a high paying job she didn't
love, or a lower paying job she had more hopes of enjoying. I
had just finished an email to a client who was torn between choosing to
pursue a relationship with a great girl or follow through on a long held
dream to travel the globe footloose and fancy free.
In the meantime, an old friend is struggling with a decision to continue
supporting her drug-addicted daughter or to practice "tough love" and write
her out of her life.
Is it just me, or do these seem like "no win" situations
we're setting ourselves up with?
What if we could have our cake AND eat it, too? What if we
could have the best of each scenario all rolled into one?
I'm just sayin' ... what if ..?
My favorite way to open to that "what if" I could have my cake and
eat it too, possibility is to: #1 - Remember that everything is
possible; all I have to do is dare to imagine it. And #2 to write down a
list of pros for the different options I'm struggling to choose between.
Once I've got my list of pros for each alternative, I then combine
them into one list and turn that comprehensive "pro" list over for
Universe to work up.
For example:
If my boyfriend said we either buy a house and move in together or
we're done (he did say that!) and I was torn because while I wanted
to continue my relationship with him, I didn't want to give up my home or my
independence - the process might look like this for me:
Living together PROs
Breaking up PROs
Okay, so what if all of those "best of" items were possible with ONE alternative? Wouldn't that be the one to go with? Methinks so.
By knowing it is totally possible for me to have the best of all worlds, that helped me dare to imagine what it might look like to have all those positive outcomes in one choice.
Which is what led to our buying a beautiful home together, where our
relationship continues to evolve and we do a great job of running this
household together. Where I experience the financial and emotional
benefits of living with someone I love (it's working!); where I learn for
the first time how to be happy under one roof with a man.
And still I kept my other house and happily rent it out to appreciative
people (I get to be a landlady who says YES to dogs!). I stay in touch with
old neighbors and now have even more amazing neighbors! I continue to
meet amazing new people (without dating them) while maintaining a strong
focus on my business and so much independence that most people don't even
realize I have a boyfriend. (I'm clearly free of a boss, but most are
surprised to hear I'm in a long term relationship!)
Wow, Universe is somethin' else, huh?! Yes, when we
give it great material to work with.
I dare YOU to identify where you believed in sacrifice, compromise or
settling and invite Universe to deliver ALL the goods to you. I think
you'll like it.
If you're so inclined, please feel free to reproduce this article in full with proper author credit (that would be me, Jeannette Maw) and link back to Good Vibe Coaching. Thanks!
